That’s actually not being very fair to myself. I made goals that weren’t achievable and that were a little too vague. So I’m chalking January up as a test drive and have set more detailed, specific goals for February that I feel I’ll be more successful at tackling, especially with the way my schedule has been with work. (Read: CRAZY.)

January was far from a fail. My first goal this month for 12 Changes in 12 Months was to eat out only once a week, forcing myself to cook more at home. Healthy for me and much healthier for my bank account. I can get into ruts where I get lazy in the morning, opting for going out for lunch on my lunch breaks at work which can cost me anywhere from five to ten dollars a day. Not exactly cheap, or in my budget.

The worst part about this going out for lunch thing is that I work in a mall. Sure, it’s an outdoor mall and I get fresh air when I leave the store which is always a good thing but on the way to many restaurants are cute stores like Anthropologie, LOFT and Francesca’s. And more often than not, I would end up buying something I didn’t need. Add on Starbucks coffees (you know, the latte and pricey varieties) and I was spending quite a bit of money on pointless things every week. So my goal of eating out only once a week eliminated eating out for lunch, thus eliminating all those extra purchases.

How’d I do? I was successful! I reserved my one meal out for dinners with friends, made a couple meals a week (sometimes with friends) and substituted eating sandwiches and reading a book on my lunch break in the breakroom of work. I’ve experimented with Thai Coconut Chicken Curry Soup, made spaghetti and meatballs and made some atomic green chili. I’ve read six books so far this year, thanks to that half hour of reading during the day and I have been able to save up far more money than normal. It sure feels good to have succeeded in this big resolution.

Of course having goals like China, New Orleans and St. Simon’s Island really helps keep my impulses in check and gives me a little extra boost of willpower. I’d love to find a way to make saving money in general as exciting as travel budgeting!

For February I am planning on focusing on a few more goals. This time I’m focusing on health to further promote the goals I’ve started working on in January.

• Stopping drinking creamer in my coffee
• Going to do my ten day veggie fast (it’s all those juice fasts I’m seeing all over Facebook, Twitter and Instagram! I’m mainly looking at you, Amy Thanks for the inspiration!)
• Run six miles a week. I’ve started running recently and it’s easier–and harder–than I expected. Easy in that I have been able to run almost two miles straight without really stopping or being in too much pain; hard in that the altitude is KICKING MY ASS. My lungs cry every time!
• An ongoing goal this year is to stop picking my nails. So far it’s been hard and while I’ve been using cuticle cream more often, I still haven’t slowed my bad habit.

We are having a snow day here in Boulder and I’m enjoying my me time on my sofa. Let’s just say this Friday off has been much needed after a hectic last week of the month at my job. Have a great weekend everyone!

“Happiness is a risk. If you’re not a little scared, then you’re not doing it right.”-Sarah Addison, The Peach Keeper

Two years ago this past weekend I packed up my bags and did something absolutely crazy. I moved across the country to a town, a state, that I had never stepped foot in. It was the final spontaneous act of a girl who had decided with two months notice to move out of New York City, travel Europe for three months and then a mere month after arriving back in the US decided to move to Boulder, Colorado after a couple conversations with a fellow blogger, Doni.

I arrived January 28, 2010 with absolutely no idea what I was getting myself into. I had never lived in a landlocked state, had never seen the Rockies outside of a trip to Wyoming six months prior and didn’t know anything about the town I was about to call my home. It was a huge risk but it wasn’t any bigger or smaller than the risks I had been taking for months earlier so it wasn’t that big of a deal to me. Looking back, I see just how risky it was and how lucky I am that it turned out so fantastically.

It’s been two years and life has been interesting. While I miss the energy of New York and my friends pretty fiercely, Boulder has charmed me in other ways–the beautiful sunsets, the generous, welcoming community, and all those fluffy puppies that wander into my job on a daily basis. I’m still trying to figure out my place here but I have made good friends, eaten ridiculously good food (thank god for a good foodie scene!) and have a beautiful space I call home. At first it was exciting, as all new things are, but then last year life became stagnant. I got bored.

I’m one of those people who love comfort. I actually really dislike being out of my element and uncomfortable, which may come as a surprise to some of you who know my love of travel and adventure. Or maybe you’re not.  A good example is the routines I picked up in New York: I always walked the same routes through the city and while they varied depending on where I was going, I always took the same routes to the places I frequented the most–school, work, shopping. I could guide myself along those streets blindfolded, if I had to. And it was comforting. It doesn’t sound very adventurous, it certainly doesn’t sound like I was trying anything new, but in my stress-filled life of constant stimulation, it was the one thing that had a calming effect on me, these silly routines I developed. It’s like the things I repetitively do–like pick my fingers, watch the same movie over and over again, listen to a song on repeat til I’m so sick of it I could cry. All this repetition is extremely comforting. But sometimes, I get too comfortable–and then I get depressed. Let’s wave at my November and December selves. Don’t give them too much attention, I don’t want them to think I want them to come visit again.

So I’m shaking it all up. I did it in 2009 when I quit my job and ran off to Europe, then moved here. 2010 was pretty wild but 2011 I got too comfortable in my ways here.

So in 2012, I’m shaking it up. I’m going to have adventures, the biggest being China. China is a huuuuge step outside of my comfort zone and there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t freak out a little bit about doing it alone. But I’m also RIDICULOUSLY excited about it. China isn’t the only thing that’s pushing the envelope of comfort for me. I mentioned some BIG FUCKING THINGS were in the mix the last time I wrote on here and while I still can’t mention them, they’re certainly scaring the bejesus out of me. But I’m going to do it if only because it scares me.

Another thing I’m doing is addressing those two left-feet-turned-backwards that I have. Oh, you know them. They don’t have any rhythm and most of the time it resembles the running man on crack. Yep, I’ve got those. My best friend here, Morgan, is a salsa instructor and avid dancer. I’ve been with her a couple times and have watched her dance–while clutching my vodka and soda in a death grip, shaking my head furiously at anyone who even thought about approaching me for a dance. The thought of tearing it up on the dance floor gives me hives.

So the other night I joined her at a local ballroom where her dance company was performing. I was watching the room full of people learning how to dance and Morgan was even spinning me around backstage, teaching me the basics which my feet somehow were actually getting. She has mentioned several times that I should come be her assistant–get free salsa lessons and do it all in front of people who have no idea what they’re doing either. She mentioned it again and you know what?

I’m going to do it.

I’m going to learn how to salsa dance. Even if I suck horribly at it, at least I’ll have tried.

Which is kind of my life motto at the moment. It’s not worth doing if it doesn’t scare you a little bit, right?

I used to have big, crazy, stars-in-my-eyes dreams for my life. If you had asked me where I wanted to be at age 30 when I was all of 22 years old, I would have confidently spouted out how I would own my own (successful) design firm, married with possibly a kid (I was in a long term relationship at that point that was quickly heading in that direction, so, fair enough.), living in a house that I most likely owned. If you had told me then what my life was like now I probably would have laughed. Or cried. A lot.

Now I sit on 30′s doorstep, working in a retail job (about as far away from owning my own firm as possible), contemplating a career change, still living with roommates and as single as can be. With absolutely no life plan. When I even try to formulate a plan because it seems ridiculous that I have no plan for my life five years out–hell, I don’t even have one for a year out!–I get flustered, overwhelmed and then pretend I got distracted and forget about it. Until the next person comes along and asks me that question and then I inwardly panic about how my shit is not together and how am I supposed to answer that?!

You see, I was raised with this belief that by the age of 30 you should have everything in order. It’s not that I haven’t had this fantastic life–I have. It’s dotted with these stories that one day I will tell my grandchildren (you know, if I ever find a guy, actually settle down long enough to pop out a couple babies and hope those babies don’t grow up to be me and childless), stories that are ridiculous and fun and holy shit that actually happened to me. And while this collecting of stories is awesome and I wouldn’t trade my experiences in life for anything but it does makes me wonder just what happened to me along the way. Where my life dreams and goals went off to.

I wouldn’t put it past myself to start looking under sofa cushions and in cupboards to locate these missing goals, that’s about how far lost I am at figuring out what they are. I can’t tell you what I want to do career wise, that’s one big ol’ question mark hovering over my head, one that could produce migraines and potentially a bit of frustrated crying and I try to avoid doing that at all costs. But maybe I can start small, maybe that will give me some form of insight into where I want my life to go.

So what do I want? I want to grow as a person. Rediscover my self-confidence. Dig that creativity out from the hole it’s hiding under. Chill out with the road rage. Find a career I love, not just a job to tide me over until the next big thing. Figure out where my passions lie and then go there. Continue having adventures and create those stories but build a foundation here at home. Become more active. Develop meaningful, rich relationships. Start really saving money. Love again. And most importantly, I want to be happy. Happy with my life. And proud of all that I’ve created. That’d be nice too.

I always thought that by the time I hit 30, that the confusion and mess of my 20s would all be settled out and honestly, that my life would appear much more adult-like. I certainly never imagined myself where I am now, working where I do and how far off track I’ve become. I sometimes wonder if my moving to Boulder has anything to do with this (but that’s a topic for a whole other post). Life certainly has a way of throwing you curve balls. It’s how you get yourself out of them that counts.

Are you where you wanted to be by now?

The second week of 2012 has been a productive one. Currently I am…

• Goal setting like a mad-woman, thanks to Nicole’s awesomely fantastic goal setting worksheet. One of my goals is to be more consistent with blogging, more involved in the community and to not let my writer’s block get the best of me. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been blogging more here. I’m hoping I can keep it up!
• I also just submitted my first post for 12 Changes, 12 Months (it’s not up yet). Don’t know what 12 Changes, 12 Months is? Well it’s Katherine and Stephany’s brain child where you commit to 12 changes that you wish to make this year and set to achieve one each month over the course of the year. So much better and easier to swallow than all these resolutions at once. Of course, combined with all these goal setting things, I’m amazing my head hasn’t exploded. Instead, I’m motivated AND READY TO ROLL.
• I am reading Tune in Tokyo, a book by Tim Anderson about escaping his stagnant life for one in Tokyo teaching English. It’s hilarious so far and it’s making me so excited to go overseas and putting far too many ideas into my head about moving overseas. My life was pretty stagnant last year and my desire to shake things up a bit runs me into dangerous territory where I could pick up and move at a moments notice, especially when reading about someone who did.
• I watched my first episode of Downton Abbey once I discovered that with my measly little antenna I actually can get PBS and am hooked. I’m making my mother send me the first season ASAP so I can catch up and then watch along with the rest of you. I love period drama.
• I have been to Oak twice in the past week. Oak is a new restaurant in town (which initially burned down after opening the first time) and I LOVE it. Mainly, the fried pickles which are the best I’ve ever had and if you need more reasons to come visit me, these should be one of them.
• I really could care less about football but the Broncos? Tim Tebow? Oh let me just hop on that bandwagon and say that last weeks game was AWESOME and that I’m totally hitting the bars this weekend for their playoff game against the patriots. I don’t really care for Tebow but the boy can play and it’s fucking ENTERTAINING. So yeah, Go Broncos!
• Colorado’s winter has been pretty schizophrenic. Last week it was 70 degrees, two days later snowing. This week boasted a lovely 55 degree day yesterday and today? Guess what? SNOWING and super cold. I love that it gets warm out but it’s such a tease.
• And now for the big announcement…I have been hard at work on a new project that has been in the works for two years and then finally was brought to fruition last month and launched…TODAY!

I want to welcome all my readers to my latest blogging adventure: The WanderScapes. I think it’s well known that I love travel, to the point of ridiculousness. You also know I have BIG PLANS this year for travel and adventure (another one of those 2012 goals), so I thought this would be the perfect year to finallyyyyyyy get around to putting up the travel blog I’ve always dreamed of having.

And now my head explodes from all the nerves about actually putting it up.

So please go visit and let me know what you’d like to see from it!

My reading was kickstarted into gear with the first book in The Hunger Games trilogy which I found on my local Marshall’s shelves. I immediately snatched it up, knowing I wanted to read it before the movie came out. I was holding off watching the trailer until I read the books so I figured with it not coming out until March, I’d have plenty of time to read the three books.

Um.

It took me only four days to read them.

I may have finished the first book in two rather sleepless nights (and a morning)  and immediately ran to Target to get the second two books.  I might have set records with how fast I read those books and went through withdrawals upon finishing them. Granted, my body was thankful they were over because I did not sleep at all for those four days. They’re young adult but, like Harry Potter, I couldn’t put them down and just loved them. The characters, the writing, the plot…all of it was fantastic.

I’ll give you a little plot description but I can never do them justice. It centers around a teenage girl, Katniss, set the future, in a nation on what is left of North America. There are games called the Hunger Games, used to keep the different “Districts” reminded who is in charge and what can happen to them if they revolt against the Capital. Story of friendship, survival, is pretty suspenseful, yadda yadda yadda. You can probably get a better idea from reading the descriptions on the back of the book (but seriously, only read the first one. Don’t spoil the rest.)

It has been a while since I’ve really enjoyed a book, at least that much. They were the kind of books where I couldn’t stop thinking about it when I shut it for the night. The books that I told everyone that they must read and even forced a copy of The Hunger Games upon a good friend of mine (who immediately became addicted, too). So what I’m trying to say is…

You should read them. Right now. Go, I’ll wait.

The book I’m currently reading and have to rave about even though I’m NOT EVEN FINISHED WITH IT, is called The Book Thief. I rented it from the library on my Kindle and wow. It is so well written, so interesting and it does a wonderful job of bringing out those happy feelings as well as the very sad ones. It’s a different style of writing, almost like Jonathan Safran Foer’s style but not really. Markus Zusak does have Foer’s incredible talent of making the characters very lifelike, as if you were in their shoes.

It’s narrated by Death and tells the story of a girl, Liesel, living in Nazi Germany in World War II who loves books and happens to steal them. Hence the name of the book. It’s fantastic and it’s another one of those books that I keep telling people about and that they must read it.

I mean, the narrator “ruins” the ending half way through the book but you still love him for it. Even if the narrator happens to be Death itself. I am about 3/4 of the way done. I’ll let you know if it goes to shit in the last quarter.

The book I read just before this didn’t garner as much OMGIFUCKINGLOVETHIS as the other books did but it did lead to my ass-kicking-motivational-inner-speech I was given over the holidays. It is called The Last Werewolf, about…you guessed it. The last werewolf. Yeah yeah, I know there are tons of vampire related books out right now and while I’ve managed to read NONE OF THEM (that is right, I have never read the Twilight series–or watched the movies. I deserve an award for that accomplishment.), I succumbed to this book based on reviews from readers.

They were all right when they said it was really well written and had a very interesting, much more grown up plot. If you don’t like sex, especially if written about often and pretty graphically, then you won’t like this book. But I really enjoyed the book; it was interesting, almost realistic in the author integrated the werewolves and vampires into modern day life and I liked the characters. Which is pretty much essential for me to like a book–I have to freaking love the characters, which I did in all three of these books. (I guess you should say, all five if you count the trilogy?)

Those are my books of note, that I insist you go out and read. And since it is my goal to read at least two books a month, what are some books that you think I MUST read?

Update: I finished The Book Thief last night after writing this and well…incredible. I ugly cried the entire way through the last quarter of the book, to the point where I couldn’t read anymore. Despite being told–TWICE–how the book would end prior to the ending by the narrator. It’s a must read.

All images are courtesy of Amazon.com. If you want more info on the books, just click on the pictures! I linked up with their Amazon pages.

2011 wasn’t all bad, but it wasn’t stellar either. A friend texted me just before midnight on Saturday, asking her friends what their one word to describe 2011 would be. I immediately wanted to write crap but how cynical and bitter would that be? It’s taken me two days but my word?

Intense.

2011 seemed to do things in the extremes. There were the highs–the trips to New York, my new apartment, outings with friends and quite a bit of laughter as I settled into my second year in Boulder. But they were countered with lowest of lows–severe anxiety, heartbreak and the worst depression I’ve had since I was 16. Not to mention my writing on this blog was a balancing act, constantly teetering over the edge into writer’s block and full months of a disappearing act.

All of it was…intense.

Was it a learning experience? All of it, 100%. Would I repeat it? Absofuckinglutely not.

So it’s with open arms that I am embracing 2012. It’s a year of milestones–I turn THIRTY, will be leaving the country for the first time in over two years (nearly three by the time I do leave! FOR CHINA.) and am planning on making some major changes to my life. For Christmas I received an unexpected gift–a Kindle. I had been under the impression that my Barcelona chair was my Christmas gift and was told multiple times that the chair was the only gift I’d be receiving. Fine with me, I’m pretty much in love with it, so it was a nice surprise when I received my Kindle.

Now where the hell am I going with this? Well, I now am obsessed with this little gadget and have been reading nonstop (which is fantastic since one of my goals for the new year is to read more!). One of the books I read was The Last Werewolf and while it may not seem like a book that would inspire, it kind of kicked me in the ass–a reminder that hey, Ashley. Life isn’t forever. WHY ARE YOU LIVING A LIFE YOU DON’T LIKE AND ENJOY?

How I got that from a book about a werewolf is baffling to even me, but I will take whatever ass-kicking motivation I can get. I have been mired in this stupid depression for a couple months now and it was this pretty forceful inner voice telling me to get the fuck over it and start DOING something about it that snapped me out of that black hole.

My goal for 2012? Create a life that I love. Not just a life that’s content. That’s decent. I have been so blessed in the past with all that I’ve experienced. I can look back and say, yeah I’ve lived a good life. I’ve traveled a lot, lived a life in NYC that most people only dream about, worked on awesome projects, lived on a beach, met some amazing people. 2011 was a blip on that screen, the unadventurous year with no exceptional qualities about it except that I probably cried more in that year than I have in the past few years combined.

You know what? I DON’T LIKE CRYING. So 2012 is going to be all smiles, adventure, putting my life back on track. Having fun, keeping old friendships from across the country as strong as ever (I have TWO girls weekends planned! One in New Orleans for my 30th and one on St. Simon’s Island for my friend’s 30th) and developing meaningful new relationships and further establishing my life here in Boulder.

There’s no resolutions this year. There is only doing. What are you doing this year?

A sidenote: I’m really excited about two new blogging projects that I’m starting on. One is Twelve Changes, a community blog with about 50 other bloggers about the Twelve Changes we’re making in ’12! The second project is close to my heart, something I’ve wanted to do for a very long time: a travel blog. I’m in the process of designing, writing and getting it up there but watch for The Wanderscapes!

Every year around this time people flock to that place where they grew up. They revisit old haunts, catch up with friends they’ve known since they were kids and sleep in their old bedrooms. They go down memory lane, so to speak. I, however, don’t do that.

Instead of flying into LaGuardia or JFK, the closest airport to that small town of Ridgefield, Connecticut, I fly into Detroit and take a road west to Ann Arbor where my parents now live. I drive down roads I’m  not familiar with to a house that I don’t have a bedroom in, that doesn’t hold any old memories in it’s old walls. It’s a beautiful home, Ann  Arbor a lot more lively than that old sleepy town I’m from but is it considered home?

As I sat across from my good friend Andy at the Arbor Brewing Company in downtown Ann Arbor, catching up over pints of local brews, I realized that this place is more home than anywhere else. It’s the place I go back to and catch up with old friends. Friends I  made at Michigan State who have stayed some of my closest, bestest friends over the past ten years. They’re more spread out; scattered out across the Detroit Metro area in their own hometowns so it’s harder to see them. But it’s these people that I call when I get into town to grab drinks, try to coordinate dinners and who I feel like I’ve known for ages. I don’t have that anymore in Ridgefield, I don’t have that group of friends to call and catch up with, there are no more nostalgic memories there than there are here. I’m a mere transplant here but it’s…home. Or at least the closest thing I’ve got to a home.

This year Christmas has been a strange time of year. It’s always been a tad hard, a stark reminder of my perpetual state of single-ness. After all, Christmas is all about love and all that goopey stuff and it’s plastered everywhere I go. So I’ve been a little down and therefore, a little MIA around these parts. Writer’s block has been fun. While I’ve taken time off from the blog, I’ve been brainstorming new ventures in blogging and planning travels both domestically and internationally. My brain has been busy but actual productivity here has been…well, non-existant.

I’m fully embracing 2012 and honestly, just want 2011 to get the eff over. I’m sure the clock striking twelve on December 31st will not solve my problems but it’s a fresh start right?

I’m really not sure what the point of this post was but really, it’s about as random as I’m feeling and I’m happy to actually be writing something, so I’m letting it slide. I hope you will too.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy holidays and a very fabulous New Year if I don’t happen to make it back here before then.

November…well it was interesting. The lonelies hit right towards the beginning of the month and wow did that send me off on a wallowing pity party of one for pretty much the entire month. I haven’t had a case of the sads last that long since I was in High School. It wasn’t all sad, all the time but it certainly lead me to lose my blogging mojo. That writers block hit the most severe the week of Thanksgiving and while I’ve been meaning to recap what a fun holiday that was (since, you know, it’s one of my favorites), I haven’t. Along with writer’s block has come a severe hatred of being single, especially around this time of the year.

Luckily this foray into the last month has kicked the lonelies to the curb and while I’m still hating being single and still have a fierce case of writer’s block, I’m not quite so sad about it. So I have faith in December. I have faith that it will pull me out of this…well…awful year. And I have faith in bullet points to help me out with this writer’s block.

• I hosted my second Thanksgiving for a few friends this year. While it was my second time hosting, it was my first time doing most of the cooking and my first time making a turkey. We all know how much I enjoy wrangling raw poultry. Despite my early morning rendez-vous with a still frozen turkey, everything went pretty smoothly and after a few glasses of wine I had forgotten all about the fact that I had to send my mother a picture of the giblets and liver to help differentiate between the two. I had a great time with my friends and still have leftover stuffing so it was a win-win all around.
• I got my Christmas tree! I love decorating for the holidays and it now smells divine in my apartment. I can’t believe the thought of getting a fake tree even crossed my mind.
• If you haven’t heard the news, it’s REALLY FUCKING COLD OUT.
• Sometimes I miss NYC and long for the anonymity that came with it. I never would run into it. But then I go out on a Saturday night and run into a few of my favorite people, some of whom I haven’t seen in a while, and I just fall back in love with Boulder all over again.
• I’m determined to leave the country this year. I know I probably said that last year. And the year before. But this year I MEAN IT. I will leave the country. My travel itch is ridiculous right now and luckily ticket prices are just far enough out of my budget that I can’t spontaneously buy a plane ticket. Especially when my destination I’m most determined to go to is New Zealand and Australia. Not the most inexpensive destination ever.
• My love affair with Michael Buble is continuing with his Christmas CD. That man can do no wrong. Except for having Bieber on his Christmas special tonight. I was a little disappointed in that selection this morning but I’m sure it wasn’t his idea.
• 2012 is going to be the year of adventure and friends weekends. Of course I’ll be returning to NYC at least once or twice, but I also am trying to get a group of my NYC girlfriends out here for a ski weekend, may go to Florida in March and there’s been talk of July 4th being spent on St. Simon’s Island in Georgia. And don’t forget that I’m planning on heading overseas. My life needs more adventure and I’m bringing it this year.
• I’m in full winter hibernation mode right now. Anyone else get this way? As soon as the cold and snowy weather hits, I tend to stay inside more often than not. Not going to be an option this month with ugly sweater parties, birthday shindigs, holiday happy hours and traveling to Michigan in a couple weeks. I can guarantee that any night that I have free will be spent curled up on my sofa, if I can find any of those free nights!

One last thing before I go….I have an announcement! The winner of my Shabby Apple dress giveaway is….drumroll please…Jess from Accidentally Graceful!! Congratulations Jess.

1. What are you doing for Thanksgiving this year?

I’m hosting my second Friendsgiving for a couple friends at my place! My first was with my old roommate Michele in New York in our tiny kitchen so I’m extremely thankful for the larger kitchen (and oven!) this time around. This will be the first time making a turkey, though, so it could get interesting. I am looking forward to making all the fixings and to share it with my coworkers-turned-friends.

2. What are you most thankful for this year?

My friends, both near and far, online and off. I probably say this every year but every year it grows more and more true.  Everyone has been so supportive of me this year, through all the ups and downs (and boy, have I had a roller coaster of a ride this year) and I honestly don’t know if I would have gotten through as relatively unscathed and strong as I have. So thank you.

3. Do you have any traditions on Thanksgiving? The parade? Football? Long naps?

Thanksgiving is actually the one holiday that I have no traditions for, besides the food. I need my turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes (all smothered in my mothers gravy), cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. I’ve added my own flares–dates stuffed with goat cheese wrapped in bacon and this year I’m making my caramel apple pie for the second year in a row. Thanksgiving has tended to be about friends now that I’m older and not able to get home as often as I’d like. Christmas is all about the traditions, Thanksgiving is about making it up as you go along!

4. Is it called stuffing or dressing? Is it in the bird or a separate dish?

Stuffing! My mom always made two–a sausage stuffing and a regular. One was inside the bird, one was in a casserole dish. This year I’m only putting the stuffing in the bird. As much as I’d like to make two kinds, I have to remember I’m cooking for four people instead of my mother, who is usually cooking for 8-12 people.

5. Do you cook?

This is the first year I’m cooking pretty much the whole meal. I’ve contributed certain meals to other thanksgivings but when I lived at home, my mom did all the cooking and I steered clear of the kitchen.

6. What is your favorite dish?

That’s a hard one. I pretty much love them all. The stuffing and the desserts probably take the cake though. What I don’t like? Sweet potatoes with marshmallows. I never knew I liked sweet potatoes because this is the only way I knew they were made. It wasn’t until a couple years ago that I discovered how much I loved them–savory, not sweet. My favorite meal made from all this? The day after my mom will make a casserole with a layer of stuffing, a layer of turkey, topped with mashed potatoes and gravy. It’s AMAZING.

7. What is your dessert preference?

Pumpkin pie. You can’t beat that, really. But my caramel apple pie is pretty bomb too.

8. What is your favorite Thanksgiving memory?

I was probably in college and home for the holidays in Connecticut. My mom was having issues with our oven and the turkey was just not cooking. EVERYTHING else was finished but every time she checked the turkey, it still was a little bloody and wasn’t finished. The frustration, combined with the wine intake, was high and she was ready to hurl the turkey out the window. It finally finished, as was noticed by my uncle and dad but instead of informing her it was finished they played a little joke on her. My uncle took his red wine and poured some in the bottom of the pan. My mother took one look and let off a slew of curses aimed at the bird, and then aimed at my uncle and dad for the mean trick! Did I mention she was holding a knife? Hilarious.

9. Do you plan to shop on Black Friday?

Hellll no. Never have, never will.

10. What are you most dreading about Thanksgiving this year?

Dealing with the raw turkey and prepping it for cooking. That’s about it, I’m actually really excited to host and cook this year!

When I was younger, road trips consisted of my entire family–mom, dad, brother and a couple furry members of the family–piling into a minivan and driving to our new home. I remember shorter trips–ones up to Maine where my brother cried about us eating lobster (he had a stuffed lobster friend whom he was convinced we had eaten one night), Vermont and upstate New York to ski (or in my case–walk down mountains), and to Michigan to visit relatives.

Nowadays road trips are solo. In fact, most traveling I do is by myself. It has it’s advantages and it has it’s disadvantages. I can do whatever I want but I don’t have anyone to bounce ideas off of. Last weekend I drove eight hours–twice–to visit my friend Kira in Wyoming and it got me thinking about the pro’s and con’s of taking these road trips by myself.

So here goes…

Pro: You can listen to as much ridiculous music as you want and sing as badly and as loudly as you want. Say you really like Newsies but feel weird singing along in your hometown where you like, know people. The plains of Wyoming don’t know you! Sing as loud as you want!

Con: There’s no one there to change your cd or grab your iPod off the passenger side floor where it fell during your clumsy attempt to change the song that sent it flying. Going 80 and attempting to maneuver your small self into the next seat while still staying in one lane is next to impossible. Not that I tried that or anything.

Pro: You can stop to pee as often as you want without judgement from one of your passengers. Trust me, if you saw how many times I stopped you’d probably wonder if I had a bladder problem. I justified it as I don’t know when I’ll see another rest stop so I better get any liquid out now!

Con: There’s no one to hold your hand going into some of those sketchy truck stop bathrooms where you are the only woman. And no one to laugh with you at all the mullets.

Pro: When you nearly hit something the size of your car in the middle of nowhere, in the pitch black, going 80 mph, no one has to see the massive freakout you have on the side of the road because HI, YOU NEARLY DIED.

Con: No one is there to rub your back while you freak out and tell you that it’ll all be okay and that you’re still alive. And help steady your hand in the 60 mph winds.

Pro: You can stop on the side of the road to gaze up at the stars or take a picture every five feet of the gorgeous landscape and not have anyone getting annoyed in the passenger seat.

Con: Asking yourself Are we there YET? gets kind of old after a while. And not nearly as effective.

Pro: If you’re a bit more aggressive as a driver than most of your friends, you can drive and control the situation and not get pissed off that they won’t pass the slow ass driver in front of you.

Con: You can’t take naps after driving for two hours while someone else drives. Which I always really want to do but despite the lack of traffic in Wyoming and the fact that even if I did fall asleep, I’d still probably make it to my destination, it’s probably not the brightest idea.

* * *

I sometimes will get the urge to just drive and drive with no particular destination in mind; maybe one day I’ll just do it and see where it leads me. I’m about to head out into the unknown in the job front; it’s scary and it’s unstable and with the economy the way it is, it’s terribly risky but I’m looking forward to this. I’m hoping it will lead to where I want to be, lead to happiness in that area of my life.