posted by on Life

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Do you ever feel like you have nothing to talk about? I’m sitting here, bursting at the seams wanting to write about something, anything, but nothing is coming out.  I feel like when I do write, it’s very repetitive and I have nothing new to add to this space.  It doesn’t really make sense to me because my life is great! I should have a lot to talk about! Things like rainbows and unicorns and unicorns pooping rainbows but…what do I write about?

I think it all winds down to expectations. I have been blamed in the past for setting them too far in all areas of my life. For guys I date (which winds to feeling like I’m being needy or clingy), for friendships (which has lead to disappointments), for my career (which has lead to feeling bored), and for myself in general. Then there’s this blog. This is my space, I know that I should not be writing for anyone else but me. However, I can’t help but feel the pressure–that only I place on myself–to write something that people will want to read, will respond to and will relate to. I constantly compare my blog to other people’s blogs, people who are much more devoted than I to creating content and making a life out of it. While it sounds nice, being able to make money off of blogging, it’s never been something I have strived for. It’s not something I want. So why do I want to be like them?

How do I get myself past that barrier that I’ve placed in my own way?

Of course this is all rhetorical. Like, why, when food falls, it always falls peanut butter side face down?

I have struggled with this space ever since I turned from anonymous to not. I don’t know why, I’ve written about it a few times before but when it comes to getting personal, to really putting myself out there, I hit a glass wall. One I cannot seem to break through. Three years is a long time to struggle with this and I’m wondering at what point I stop struggling and just put it to rest?

And sometimes when you’re in the middle of writing something, you realize oh, yeah, you just don’t like being vulnerable in real life. Really, really don’t like. Maybe that’s why you struggle with getting real on this blog, Ashalah. Maybe you should work on that first.

If you’ve encountered this in blogging, and have gotten through (or maybe haven’t), what did you do?

  • Katelin

    I’ve been having a lot of struggle with my writing too.Some days I realize I just can’t make myself write and have to do when it comes to me. So far that’s been working and I’ve been putting less pressure on myself to write so often.

  • Sarah Sky

    i had an experience a couple of years ago that made me want to shut down all non-necessary communication through the internet. I got over it. It took 7 years. Its who i am though, I have always “over shared” so either its for you or not. You’ll figure it out. I appreciate what you write and share on your path in life.

  • Matty H

    Part I:
    I think you got it right when you said that it all comes down to expectations. The topic of expectations in general seems to be fairly straightforward, but it really isn’t (Oh boy I can ruminate on that!). As far as expectations for a blogging hobbyist, you’re in the fortunate position that you don’t really have any that are not entirely self-imposed. Please indulge a slight detour…

    You mention that setting expectations for your career/job has led to boredom. (Presumably you have high expectations for yourself—and rightly so—and the job requirements are somehow not “enough”, leaving you underwhelmed at work.) This seems to imply that your work situation should be tweaked to be more challenging, aligning your abilities with the requirements for the job. I don’t necessarily agree. While you COULD align your job to meet your expectations, wouldn’t it possibly be easier and more productive to align your expectations instead?

    Consider this: Have you ever seen a really, truly happy toll booth operator? Unlike your unicorns pooping rainbows, they do exist, and it’s a wonderful thing to encounter on a long drive. But these individuals are certainly not getting their happiness nut from handling crumpled dollar bills from grumpy travelers and breathing in car exhaust all day! Having lower expectations in some areas of your life can be good because it allows you to focus on what really matters AS YOU DEFINE IT. The toll booth operator is happy at work because she’s happy in life. She sings at church or is active in her kids’ PTA or is hiking the Appalachian Trail piece by piece on the weekends or whatever. Or running half-marathons and skiing and sampling beers and taking pictures… and blogging.