Taking myself on my very first date.

Feb
2013
18

posted by on Life

8 comments

Tonight I took myself on my very first date. I went to the movies all on my own.

It’s about damn time, you’re probably saying to me. After all, I am 30, nearly 31. Who hasn’t gone to the movies by thelmself? Well, this girl, that’s who.

Sure, I’ve gone to bars by myself and have eaten dinners solo in restaurants. The common theme of all of them was that I was traveling. It’s easy to go out of your comfort zone when you’re far away from home. If anyone asks, you have an easy excuse: you’re from out of town and don’t know anyone. Not so easy when you’re in your home town. I’m one of those people who care way too much what other people think of me so my walking into the theater right down the street from where I live all by myself and seeing The Hobbit was a big step. I’d even say huge.  I have never been to dinner, drinks or to see a movie by myself where I live.

When I walked into the movie theater I was a tad nervous. I made sure to not give myself too much time to back out. Luckily there wasn’t a line and I was able to march right up to the cashier, buy my solo ticket and proceed to sit in the exact seat I wanted to sit in: towards the top in the middle. And I sat there through the previews (which were almost as long as the movie) and didn’t murder the child sitting two seats away who kept trying to get very last drop out of their soda. I laughed at the movie and I was kind of bored of the movie, too. I felt all these things by myself and didn’t have anyone to share them with but that’s okay because I experienced it and that’s what’s most important right? When the movie was over and I walked out the exit all by my little self, I did a little inner victory dance for taking this first big step.

I’m sick of holding my own self back from happiness and joy and doing what I want to do. And if that means going to a movie that I want to see by myself, or go try a specialty chocolate mint stout at a local brewery, or…whatever it is that I want to do–I need to just do it. I will regret more the things I did not do than the things I did do and now that I’ve gone and seen a movie by myself, I feel so…liberated.

I kind of feel like superwoman. Or Tarzan? Like I want to beat on my chest: I am woman, hear me roar.

All because of a solo movie-going expedition. It’s the little things.

This three day weekend has been extremely healing. Spending time with the shelter dogs, a college basketball game with a friend, hot tubbing under the stars, brunch with friends at my favorite spot in town, a long hike in the woods (as well as one up by the reservoir), and today a me date at the movies. I need to do this more often, it’s so nice to…take care of myself. To really take the time and do things that I like, things that I know will make me happy. It’s hard to do, right? I know what will make me happy but sometimes I can’t even pry myself off the sofa to do it. A lot of weekends go by where I don’t do much of anything and I kick myself come Sunday night. I also need to stop kicking myself if I do just sit around and do nothing. I just need to start recognizing when sitting around and doing nothing is exactly what I need in the moment, or if forcing myself out of my apartment to take a hike, or play with the dogs, or go see a movie is what I need.

It’s all part of the growing process, right?

Right now I’m just enjoying the contentment of a successful weekend of self-care, and self-love. I’m also realizing that I am far too emotionally attached to the outcome of The Bachelor, but that’s not really relevant to this post and I’m currently just trying to distract you all from all the sappy personal stuff I wrote about above. Is it working? Maybe we should talk about how the creator of Downton Abbey hates us and how emotionally traumatizing this season has been and I don’t think I can ever rewatch season three because of how heartbreaking it was. And also? WHY is their season so short?

OK so in all seriousness, what do you do to take care of yourself? Where do you find your happy? (we can also discuss The Bachelor or Downton or whatever other silly things you want, if that’s easier.)

  • http://twitter.com/carmenincalgary Carmen

    I’m the same as you… I can eat in restaurants alone, go to sporting events alone, travel alone, but my first movie by myself was something big. I’ll admit it’s only happened once (I don’t see a lot of movies), but I’m okay with it. Mostly.

    • Ashalah

      I think going to eat a restaurant here in Boulder would be a challenge for me. Especially since I run into people I know EVERYWHERE. If I lived in NYC still I might be more inclined :)

  • Akirah

    Good for you! I absolutely LOVE going to movies by myself. Sometimes I try to get someone to go to the movies with me, but if I can’t, I just go alone. It’s definitely a self-care thing for me. I’m an introvert, so I yearn to do those kinda of things alone. Good for you for going out of your comfort zone and doing that. I’m proud of you, girl!

    • Ashalah

      It’s hard being an extrovert and doing these things alone but I really enjoyed it! I will definitely be doing it more often. Maybe even this weekend, it being oscar season and all :)

  • http://smallcharming.wordpress.com/ Natasha Leigh

    I remember going to the movies by myself for the first time. I was 20 and my dad laughed at me when he called and I told him that I was on a date with myself. I don’t go to many movies in general but last year, I went to the theater about 6 times by myself and enjoyed it. I’m actually weird when I go to restaurants and movies with other people now, so it’s a win-lose situation.

    I find my happy when I’m by myself because it allows me to calm down and do things in my own time. To take care of myself, I do a lot of things but I’ve never spent any time in a hotel by myself. So, I think that is going to be a goal for myself this year.

    • Ashalah

      I think, for me, it would be weird to travel with someone else. I always travel by myself, take plane trips by myself and do the hotel thing by myself. Last year was the first time I had a trip with friends but it was domestic. I’ve yet to travel internationally with anyone besides my younger brother (but traveling with him is like traveling by myself so…doesn’t count!). Maybe one day I will change that too…

      Good luck with your goals!

  • Ms. Jazz

    UK TV seasons are much shorter than US ones (which I’m not sure is a bad thing, think of how many marathons of reruns we have when TV shows go on random breaks). Also, it is getting harder and harder to not find Downton spoilers when you are casually googling something, because the UK season airs before ours does. Apparently both actors wanted to leave, so they had to die. For some reason that made me feel better…. to know that Julian Fellows wasn’t just messing with our heads, that his hand was forced. Unrelated: I was sad to see that Julian Fellows would leave Downton if NBC green lights his Gilded Age series.

  • Alison

    I just found your blog today and, and I read about all if your posts:) I really like your site, it’s fun but so real too. I’m definitely going to keep watching it!