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Every once in a while I will have a Saturday night (or a Friday, or a Wednesday) where the smallest thing will set me off for no reason. I’m talking full on waterworks, sometimes even an ugly cry.

Saturday was one of those days. I had big plans to BBQ up some roasted red peppers and garlic sausage and my corn on the cob on my grill and make some jalapeno cornbread with jalapenos from my potted garden. The weather had other plans, though and it downpoured for the rest of the evening. So I made myself a sandwich and figured I’d still make the cornbread since all it required was the oven in my nicely sheltered kitchen.

Now, I had been feeling a little lonely, restless and to be honest, bored, all day. I had gone on a walk, I had visited with the neighbors, I had watched several episodes of How I Met Your Mother on Netflix and I had finally gone through my pile of paper/mail that had gotten ridiculously out of control. It sounds productive but it was a lot of sitting on the sofa, playing Bejeweled Blitz and pondering the life changes I want to make. I was seriously restless and feeling a little bit alone and that is a lethal combination when you accidentally put in 2/3 cup of vegetable oil instead of 1/3 cup and discover that your milk has gone lumpy.

One day I will read directions more closely because while I have had one baking disaster turn into the most delicious pineapple upside down cake, I doubt I’ll be able to recreate that moment. So I abandoned that attempt and sat down on the couch and cried.

Not one of my proudest moments and I certainly wasn’t crying because I had messed up a few ingredients, that was easily fixable, but it was that stupid straw that broke that camels back and I let it all out. After a little bit of moping about, I went back to the grocery store, picked up some new supplies and got started on making this jalapeno cornbread. I was lucky enough that I had not put in the chopped jalapeno into the mix before so I still had my freshly picked from my garden peppers ready to go in.

Diptic

I cheated a little and picked up a honey cornbread mix in a box but if I were to really go all out and cook this from scratch (like, if I were cooking for a potluck or someone else), I would use this recipe that I found on AllRecipes.com. Since it was just me (and probably my coworkers and whomever else I can con into eating it all so it’s not just me eating it), I opted for the easier option.

The second time was the charm and I managed to get the recipe correct and there were no more tears. My loneliness subsided, I was able to journal and continue dreaming towards the changes I’ll be making in my life. Sometimes, you just have to let it out, push through and it’ll all turn out (at the very least) delicious in the end.

Untitled

The non-cheaters Jalapeno Cornbread Recipe:

Ingredients

  • 1 1/2 cups cornmeal
  • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour
  • 6 tablespoons sugar
  • 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • 1 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
  • 2 eggs
  • 1 cup buttermilk
  • 1/4 cup olive oil
  • 3 jalapeno peppers, seeded and finely chopped

Directions

  1. In a bowl, combine the first six ingredients. In another bowl, whisk the eggs, buttermilk and oil. Add to the dry ingredients and stir just until moistened. Stir in jalapenos. Pour into a greased 9-in. square baking pan.
  2. Bake at 400 degrees F for 20-22 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. Cut into squares or wedges. Serve warm.

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