Warning: Bloggers are not as tall as they appear on the internet

May
2012
14

posted by on Life

8 comments

Whenever I meet a blogger in person, the first thing that gets acknowledged is just how short I am. Apparently the Internet makes me appear taller. Warning: Objects on Internet appear larger than in real life.

I’m 5’2″ and have what my friends and family call a Napoleon complex. I am a loud and heavy walker, have a large personal bubble and somehow will still manage to kick you out of a king bed. I don’t take up a lot of physical space in this world but I certainly try.

Being short has its drawbacks. It sucks at concerts and other events where people are standing and I can’t see past them. People often don’t notice me because I’m out of their sight range and will bump into me and step on me. You probably are scoffing at this statement but it’s true. You are guilty of it. My height sometimes makes me feel invisible.

Despite that, I like being short. I like that I can date whomever and still feel small. I like that I can squeeze into tight spaces and can easily maneuver a crowd. The chances of my hitting my head on a hanging tree branch are pretty slim. I’m used to everyone being taller than me; I grew up with a brother a foot and a half taller than me so I barely even notice if someone towers over me. But if someone shorter than me is nearby, it freaks me out.

Yes, I’m scared of people shorter than me. I’m also scared of heights, if that makes me seem less weird.

I get made fun of a lot for how short I am. Roommates get a thrill over putting my stuff on the top shelf just to see me climb on the counters to get to it. Some friends like using me as an arm rest. I’m used to it. A new thing that has been brought to my attention is my love for large animals. I often babysit my friend’s Great Dane, a 150 lb monster who is definitely bigger than me. In fact, any large fluffy dog will cause me to melt into a cute-overloaded puddle.

It doesn’t stop there. The bigger the animal is, the more I will love it to pieces. On Saturday B and I went to the aquarium. One of the attractions was this beautiful tiger that you were able to get pretty up close and personal with. When I was looking into this tigers eyes there was no fear, just ohmygod you are so cute I want to cuddle you right now.

If I ever go on a safari, remind my guide to never let me leave the safety of the truck. My survival instincts around large predators seem to be grossly out of line with, say, a normal persons. After all, one of my life goals us to hug a panda. And pet a tiger. Both of which I’m pretty sure will result in my death.

I just have no fear of large animals. Cocker spaniels? Make me nervous. Elephants? I WANT ONE.

Totally normal right?

Or is it just another part of my Napoleon complex?

  • http://www.prettysandyfeet.com/ katelin

    haha this post totally cracked me up. because i have to admit, i totally envisioned you taller, like 5’6″ish even.

    alas i will continue to be the giant blogger that really is uber tall at 5’9″, haha.

    • http://superduperfantastic.com/ suki

      Even though we met in person, Katelin, for some reason I didn’t remember you being so close to my height. I need to remember who the members of the tall girls club are. ;)

  • http://superduperfantastic.com/ suki

    And I am taller than people expect. :P They don’t realize it until I am standing right next to them.

  • http://www.hope.gr Eleni Zoe

    Haha! This made me giggle. Also because I just finished reading Life of Pi which is all about how dangerous tigers are and I was all: “STEP AWAY FROM THE TIGER ASHLEY. :)

  • http://bakinginmybathingsuit.wordpress.com BakingSuit

    Growing up out in farm country where it seems everyone is tall, at 5’5″ I was the short girl and can totally relate to being the short one. Also, little dogs freak me out, I’m terrified I’m going to step on one and it’s going to attack me or jump up and grab my jugular. What? Little dogs have some ups. If a Panda was to take a swipe at me I’d see it coming!

  • http://bottleupthecrazy.com Jenn

    I’m short. I’m barely 5’1″ and after 27 years I’m over the short jokes. I don’t know if people think I haven’t heard them before or what, but enough.

    It’s like constantly reminding someone that their face is asymmetrical or they have a stupid haircut. People would think I’m mean if I did that. But holding something up high and telling me to “reach” for it or “jump” is just as ignorant.

    I realize that I’m possibly overreacting, but I’m just so tired of attention being drawn to my shortness. And half the time it’s by people who are like 1-2 inches taller than me. Those people need to chill.

  • http://notesfromtheintern.wordpress.com Notes from the Intern

    I love this post. It’s exactly how I feel at five foot three. I love never being taller than my boyfriend, and I can make a scene like someone six foot tall. But also, I hate how people always remind me of how short I am. Do people pat your head? They do mine, but I’m never sure if it’s because I’m short or if it’s because I’m a ginger.

  • http://insertmyblognamehere.blogspot.com Paula

    Ha, I’m barely 5 foot 3 – and I might be exaggerating THAT height – and I like the fact that i could date a short guy and it wouldn’t matter, haha. I am always very aware of how small I am and sometimes it bothers me if everyone else is towering over me. (For example, most of my team are younger than me in work but they all tower over me at 5 foot 8 – and I live in flats.)But also when someone is shorter than me I feel like a giant oaf. It’s weird.