Say hello to my leettle friend…insomnia

May
2012
18

posted by on Life

11 comments

Insomnia.

What an ugly little bitch of a friend it can be.

I have had insomnia since I was 21. That is NINE YEARS of not getting a good nights sleep. Nine years of being constantly tired.

My insomnia ranges. When I lived in NYC it was at its height. I would wake up at 3am, no matter what time I went to bed. I was young then and I seemed to function just fine on only a few hours of sleep. But it eventually caught up with me. One of the major reasons I left New York was because of the stress it was taking on me physically and emotionally. You know how grouchy you can feel after not having a good nights sleep? Imagine how you’d feel after six years of sleeping 3-4 hours a night.

Once I left NYC, my insomnia got better. I was able to relax more, I started sleeping a couple more hours a night. I still wasn’t sleeping past 4 or 5 am but that was better than my sleeping habits from before. At this point I will take whatever I can get.

The past couple weeks though my insomnia has raged back. Sometimes, if I’m stressed or worried about something I won’t sleep well. I’ll only get a couple hours a night. I can usually pinpoint why I am not sleeping. This time I cannot. There is no stress, there is nothing worrying me or on my mind (except for whether or not my hammock will be too big for just me.) But I honestly cannot figure out why I’m not sleeping. Thursday night was the worst; I woke up at 2am and stayed awake, attempting to convince myself to go back to sleep. The result was my crying for no reason other than pure exhaustion Friday morning before work.

I don’t remember what it feels like to be well rested, especially on days like Friday where I’ve already had coffee which has done nothing but I know if I have more, I’ll feel even worse than I already do. The irony in all this is that I work for a sleep therapy company. I am essentially the first person a patient with a sleep disorder sees. It’s awesome being exhausted and having your equally sleep deprived patients notice your exhaustion.

I slept a little better last night but still was awake at 3:30, yes, worrying about that hammock. The things I think about in the middle of the night…they don’t make much sense to me either. I never said I was normal.

Have you ever dealt with insomnia? How do you deal with it?

  • http://smallandcharming.com Natasha

    I had it really bad in February. Even though I was taking Ambien, I would still be up obscenely early and so tired. I thought it would get better but the only thing that helped me was Ambien and an OTC sleeping pill a night. I could sleep a full 8 hours or so and feel a bit more rested. I’m really sorry that you’re going through this, but it will get better.

  • http://Lifeloveandhighheels.blogspot.com Amy

    I would start cutting out all caffeine & alcohol. I knew someone else who had terrible insomnia & that helped. Worth a try at least?

  • Edwin

    I take two codeine tablets before I go to bed. About 30 to 40 minutes after that, I’m out.

    For me, the weather is also a big factor in insomnia. When it gets warmer outside, the amount of hours I can sleep without pills plummets. I think it’s the humidity that gets to me.

    I hope you find something that works for you. can’t you ask one of the therapists at your office for some advice ?

  • http://bakinginmybathingsuit.wordpress.com BakingSuit

    Welcome to my life. I’m currently 5 days into a bout with about 25 hours total including naps. I just got through a 10 day one.

    I’ve had it on and off since high school and the only thing that seems to help me is slogging through until I just sleep. I’m lucky that I can take naps here and there.

    When it gets really bad I take a Tylonol PM or NyQuil but sometimes that gives me bad dreams, but because I also sleep walk I can’t take anything stronger.

    I will say that my dad is right though, when I can’t sleep, just give into it and do something else. Sometimes I read, lately I’ve been watching Suits and crocheting, sometimes I quietly clean.

    Good luck!

  • http://theinbetweenismine.com San

    I’ve never had real insomnia, but I can imagine what it’s like because of nights that I haven’t slept well and OMG…. not being able to get a decent amount of sleep is the worst! It’s torture. I really feel for you and hope you find a solution. If you work for a sleep therapy company, can’t you get tested?

  • http://cookingisalchemy.blogspot.com Julia Steele

    In addition to wiping out the caffeine and alcohol, I would take a hard look at dumping sugar. It can really mess up your whole patterns. I know it sounds impossible, but imagine going to bed at 10 and getting up at 6 with no breaks in between, stress free.

  • Shelley

    This post reminded me of Nicole’s post on alcohol and insomnia: http://nicoleisbetter.com/body-image-issues-punching-people-in-the-ovary-and-a-no-drinking-update Not to say that alcohol is the cause of your insomnia!

    I’ve never had long-term insomnia. I used to get it when I was in elementary school and middle school when I was nervous or excited about something going on the next day so I would be awake for hours and hours. (Cue the Disney commercial… “I’m too exCIted to sleeeep.”) Sorry that you’re dealing with it now.

  • http://youtube.com/pinkplease jeny

    Give Melatonin a shot. Find it in the vitamin aisle of your local grocery or drug store. It would be good to take if you woke up at 2am because it will not leave you feeling hung over the next day. I have dealt with insomnia forever and not been able to take prescription pills due to side effects. You might also try NATURAL CALM magnesium, you just stir it up into some water or juice… my grandmother swears by it.

  • http://www.angelanoelle.com Angela Noelle

    I also had good luck with Melatonin. I don’t have insomnia consistently, but it’ll tend to come and go for months here and there, and it’s so awful. I’m a bad enough sleeper even when I’m sleeping “well”, but insomnia kicks my butt. I really hope you’re able to find a solution.

  • http://www.perksofbeingajap.com Lacey Bean

    I know Nicole got rid of her insomnia after giving up drinking. She says its the only thing that’s ever worked!

  • Emily

    you’re lucky you at least get to sleep at all at night.
    i’m 16 now and i’ve had insomnia ever since i was a child (chronic insomnia) it’s common that i can’t sleep for 2 weeks straight and it’s very hard to be in high school running on no sleep.