posted by Ashalah on Life

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Sometimes, when life has you down, you have to take a step backwards to really see how fantastic your life really is. I have been a little down lately and haven’t really been able to see all the good things that I have going on. I sometimes get stuck in these kind of ruts and they can last me anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks. It depends on how long it takes me to get to the point where I take a look at myself and give myself a slap, and tell myself bitch, what is wrong with you? Look at everything you’ve gotten to experience in life! You can’t try to complain and tell me that life sucks when clearly IT DOES NOT.

I had that kind of conversation with myself (what? I know you talk to yourself too.) the other day while out on one of my many ten mile walks. I was soaking in the gorgeous summer sun and reminiscing on my summer I spent in Montauk with my hotel and restaurant crew, laughing over a certain memory or two, when I practically stopped myself in my tracks. Why was I moping? Why do I let one small portion of my life mess up everything else? I mean, LOOK AT MY LIFE:

• I got to move around a lot when I was little. I got to experience different parts of the US, meet a lot of people and it helped make me who I am today: an open minded, independent individual who has a fair dose of spontaneity, who adapts well to change and who has an incurable itch for wandering.

• I got to go to school for seven and a half years on my parents dime, not because I really really wanted to go to school for that long but because I really really wanted to go to FIT and that required me starting over after three years of school. I remember my father yelling at me until I was in tears over the fact that I didn’t get into the 2 year bachelor’s program, but instead had to start all over. He knew it was the best school, with the best program and that it was my dream and he let me have that dream. I’m forever grateful for that. All the hard work I put in at FIT paid off if only for the fact that my parents FINALLY acknowledged how much work I had to do while there (upon seeing just the midterm progress of my thesis project) and when they cried upon watching my thesis video.

• I got to live in New York City for six years. I may adore my new life in Boulder and find it a much better fit for me, but I got to do something that some people only dream about and I was able to do it successfully. I survived NYC. I had some tricky situations involving mice and cockroaches, being given notice that we had to get out of our apartment two days after our lease ended, a few black out nights where I decided taking the subway home at 4am was a good idea, and only twice overdrawing my checking account with rent checks. Outside of all of this, I was living the stereotypical NYC dream, complete with dinners at the nicest restaurants, picnics in central park, drinks at hip lounges with friends who had expense accounts, went on a sailing trip around the base of the island and dates a couple times a week. It wore me out, but it was the best experience. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

• I got to spend an entire summer living on a beach, rent free, in Montauk. When my bestest Lauren asked me to come out with her for three weeks to help open this hotel and to help decorate, I had no idea what it would turn into. What started as us staying in one of the posh suites, spending the days in the sun and frolicking in the Hamptons and the evenings setting up the rooms, suddenly morphed from a three week thing into a full summer of playing receptionist for all the guests and spending the evenings drinking at the on-site bar with what were quickly becoming some of my good friends at the restaurant. I can’t even begin to summarize that summer in one paragraph. It was just that amazing. This video? This video embodies Montauk and it makes my heart SO happy. I miss these crazies. They were my family for a summer. The GM of the restaurant is on the ice bucket with his friend on guitar and while most of us should have been working, you can hear the entire waitstaff behind me. Enjoy this little clip of “Patience.”

• I have traveled all over. I got to go to St. John’s in the Caribbean when I was 16. Ireland when I was 18. I took my very first trip by myself to see friends in Baltimore my freshman year of college to see Bare Naked Ladies and Flogging Molly. I went on my first backpacking trip to Europe in 2006 to Ireland and Italy. I went to Germany, Austria and the Czech Republic in 2008. Vegas and Wyoming in 2009. And who can forget my enormous, huge, life-changing trip last fall? I cannot.

• Speaking of, I was able to quit my job in a bad recession, save up money by getting rid of my apartment and couch hopping with a few very generous friends in order to travel overseas for three months. I was able to come home to my parents place, crash with them and then with a ridiculous amount of luck, ended up in Boulder without so much a plan in the world. It’s been four months and while things haven’t been that easy, it’s been amazing so far.

There are SO many things that have made my life awesome so far. These are only a handful! One thing that has been a constant throughout all this is the support I get daily from my friends and family. My parents freak out DAILY over my decisions (which they later commend me for. I remember my mother’s epic freakouts three weeks into my Europe trip and then two months in telling me how lucky I was to be doing all this, that some people never get the chance. I did rub it in her face that had I ever listened to her, I wouldn’t be there. She didn’t like that too much.)  but they always support me in the end. I may get all spontaneous on their asses every once in a while and scare them half to death but I’m lucky enough that they let me do what I like and I know they’ll have my back.

Same with my friends. I still miss my New York City friends like crazy (and am so excited that one of them is coming to visit me in ONE WEEK!!!)  and probably will until I convince them all to move here with me. I know they’ll always be here for me though. My Wifey texted me this afternoon only to tell me that a restaurant we would frequent often, and often make fun of the break-up music always playing over the speakers, was playing Careless Whispers by Wham. It brightened my day to be reminded of that. My friends are constantly in touch with me, always making me smile even when they probably want to kick my teeth in for being overly dramatic sometimes.

Needless to say, my life is pretty fantastic. I can’t let a couple speed bumps deter me from enjoying the rest of it and forgetting how fabulous I have had it. Sometimes I do need to kick myself in the pants every once in a while. Sometimes it’s forcing myself to be in a positive mood while sometimes all it takes is a long walk on a beautiful day to shed light on something I already know, but have overlooked in my doom and gloom phase. Whatever it is that’s bothering you, always remember to look backwards at where you’ve been and you’ll find that it really hasn’t been all that bad.

Holy crap, since when did I decide to try to be inspirational? Now, this is for my Wifey in honor of our break up dates at Funayama in NYC.

Tags: Friends Make My World Go \'Round, I Should Listen to This, Life Lessons, Reflection, The Good Times