*Not Suitable For Vegetarians
The nicest thing about my new apartment is the size. It’s a two floor condo with a nice kitchen, dining nook, living room, balcony and a half bath upstairs, 2 bedrooms and a full bath and storage room downstairs. My NYC two bedroom apartment would fit comfortably in the living room. Maybe even on the balcony.
The kitchen is a dream. It’s not my mother’s gourmet kitchen but it has tons of counter space and THREE people can actually fit in there comfortably. Hell, Doni and I have held a dance party in there, that’s how roomy it is. You could not do that in my old kitchen without knocking yourself out against the stove and lighting yourself on fire.
We’ve slowly been furnishing it and it was only last weekend that we acquired a sofa and coffee table but the lack of furniture hasn’t stopped us from having people over and picnic on the dining room floor. We’ve hosted a couple dinner “parties” with Monica and Grace and they included deliciousness such as spaghetti squash, eggplant, cheese, and vegan chocolate cheesecake (ah-mazing). Outside of an incident with the spaghetti squash where Monica almost knifed herself in the stomach, there hasn’t been much squealing or unpleasantness about cooking.
Until Saturday night.
It was my night at home, the first one in a while and I had decided I was going to make my mother’s Rosemary Chicken with roasted potatoes and asparagus. I had been talking about this meal for a couple nights and finally had the time to prepare it. It sounds delicious right?
I’ve ALWAYS enjoyed this meal…when my mother makes it. My only experience with a whole chicken is a cooked whole chicken.I hate handling raw chicken cutlets, etc but nothing will EVER compare to a raw, whole chicken.
NOTHING.
It was the most traumatizing experience of my life and I think my live-tweeting of the event is the only way I can properly show you how I felt (read from the bottom up):
The organs were one thing. It was disgusting but it wasn’t toooo bad. When I discovered the neck though, I may have shrieked, tweeted, then called my mom in a panic being all WHAT THE HELL DO I DO WITH THIS THING!? And proceeded to have a freakout of epic proportions.I think I was put on speaker phone because I could hear my dad and my mom dying of laughter in the background, particularly when my mom pointed out that I had to CUT OFF THE BUTT, a part that I had yet to discover. I also discovered feathers while on the phone and squealed a good deal about that as well.
IT. WAS. TRAUMATIZING.
With some (or a lot) of pressure from my mom, I even attempted to cut off the neck but I couldn’t get through the bone and I was so disgusted, I threw it in a pot, lathered it up with lemon juice, rosemary, garlic powder and paprika and then threw it in the oven as fast as I could. (After taking pictures of course, while avoiding having to look at it’s neck.
Peeling the potatoes was a breeze after that.
The meal turned out to be quite delicious (and the smells heavenly) and I’ll have chicken for days now but seriously. NEVER DOING THAT AGAIN. I will eat pretty much ANYTHING at least once (I’ve eaten ox tongue, snails, reindeer, octopus, squid, salmon eggs, salmon skin…and want to try alligator and sea urchin) but having to deal with a raw chicken….definitely the most disgusting.
I think this is what I get for buying a $2 chicken on sale.
Here are some more pictures for your pleasure:
After I had won the battle.
The meal.
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